I just want to be me

New Chapter in Life

2011-11-20T22:10:00.002-05:00

Well, it's been forever since I last blogged but here is an update. I am now living back at home with my mom and sister! I took a job in Pittsburgh to be closer to family. Plus, it's expensive to rent/live in CT so I'll be living at home for a bit until I pay off some of my student loans. It's not too bad; I get home cooked meals and laundry done without having to go out! I have given up my competitive Magic scene in New England which is definitely a sacrifice, but I'll get to play once in a while.

One big change is that I have to go to bed early and get up real early to avoid Pittsburgh traffic. I travel about 45min to an hour and get to PNC Park at about 7AM! I park there since I have to pay to park in the city and the baseball park is cheaper. It's a small walk across the bridge and it'll suck in the winter, but saving about $7 per work day is worth it.

Truth is I'm already tired of my job! I took a job in software testing, but I really want to do application development. I only took the job because it got my foot in the door and allowed me to move back home, but I'll be applying for an App Dev job soon.

Well, I only have to work 3 days this week then get Thanksgiving and the day after off (like most people), but that will be nice.

I know it's been forever since I posted, so I probably missed a ton, but I'll try to update more often! You probably read that a lot.

-Shane

A friend came out to me..

2011-06-02T23:02:00.002-04:00

Well, I think the universe decided to put me in Josh's shoes last night. Not quite as bad though. I gave Fred (made up name) a ride back from Magic. I usually offer him a ride because he doesn't drive and someone has to take him home at the end of the night. As we pulled into his apartment complex he said there's been something he's been meaning to ask me.. "Are you gay?"

My eyes dazed over, my heart stopped. The last time someone asked me that was when my Mother asked me in the car 3 years ago. Why was he asking me this? I didn't want to lie since he was a friend, so I said "Uhh... kinda, yeah, maybe..?" "Why?".. He seemed kind of nervous, then asked me "If I'd be interested in him."

BAM!

I was hit over the head by a proverbial mallet. 3 times. 1) I just came out to him. 2)HE just came out to me.. 3) He wants to know if I'm interested.. I'm not.. not in the least, and what makes it worse is he's a great Magic friend, and I don't want to ruin that.

I told him "Uh.. I think it would be awkward." (An understatement)

He said he had talked to his 'lesbian' friend and she told him to just ask me. I told him I was proud of him and I had definitely done the same before.. He seems like he is choking on his tongue, and leaves.

I was shocked, of course. Numb as I drove home. As I crawled into bed and slept. Numb off and on today, but I am feeling better, and I feel like I'm forgetting it. BUT yeah I think I feel worse because I had done worse to Josh. The fact that I thought we could work it through shows how much I didn't grasp the situation. I was dieing then, and still couldn't see straight.

Tomorrow is FNM, and I'm going I think, since I could make this worse if I don't show up.

GP Providence and saving money

2011-05-31T21:26:00.003-04:00

Last weekend Jamie and a few other magic friends spent the weekend in Providence for the Magic Grand Prix Legacy event. It was a pretty sweet experience and makes the first 'pro' event I've been to. Players from all around the world fly to GPs to compete for Pro points and prize, making it a very competitive environment. It was amazing to see some big names at the event, and it was especially surprising to me how tall they all were in person. Giant! I saw LSV, PV and Owen Turtenwald play and the perfection that they played at was fantastic to watch. Really inspiring. I myself didn't have any byes for the event (Pros come in with 3 byes on day one) and I went 4-3 before I dropped. You needed to be X-2 to have a chance to top 8 after 17 rounds! There were 1200 people there!

I just had the urge to finally tighten up my spending. I just got stuff to pack lunches after not packing a lunch for a year and a half. That alone will save me over 100$ a month. I can cut FNM for a while and save 60$ a month, plus I am canceling netflix (I never use it anyway) and closed one of my FFxi accounts. That'll easily save 200 a month. Working to see if I have another 100 somewhere will be more challenging though..

It's been getting hot again :( I've been hearing about storms that my friends and family have gotten in PA and I am jealous :( We haven't gotten ANY thunderstorms yet where I live in CT...

Tomorrow marks exactly 2 years since I started working in CT. It's quite a big feat and I hope I can make it last a few more.

Changes

2011-05-13T17:56:00.003-04:00

My team at work was pulled together to have a meeting yesterday. My manager informed us that we were 'running hot' and the department was making cuts.. He didn't say much about who, but he said we were all safe (those that were in the meeting). Jamie wasn't on messenger all day, so I feared the worst. Turns out he was let go, along with a lot of other people. Really shocking and a reminder of 'job mortality'. Jamie was the one who arranged my interview. He's the reason I have a job in CT now, and now he's gone... Haven't talked to him, maybe I'll see him tonight.

Cute cards

2011-03-13T23:32:00.003-04:00

Had a meeting with my manager last week and he said he was hearing good things about my performance. Then he said the next thing we need to do is get me out of my closet! Then he started laughing.. lol. I'm normally a quiet person, so I hope he meant get me talking more..

Saturday I was at a Magic PTQ tournament in Boston (Charleston) all day. I only had 4 hrs of sleep the night before so I attribute my bad plays on that..

Today I woke up at like 1 PM by some friends from the magic shop I play at. They wanted me to come down to play Standard so that the event would fire. I threw a deck together quick and rushed over. There were 2 other guys that I hadn't seen before and one was cute. I think he was checking me out too..

Anyway.. they had driven an hour from the north to play in this event thinking it was going to be a huge tournament, but they were mistaken. I won the first round easily but at the beginning of the second round I had my deck checked and received a game loss for improper deck registration (I scribbled the list down in 2 minutes). It was single-elim so of course I quickly lost that match.

Meh

2010-08-23T22:22:00.002-04:00

Fruit flies are driving me insane! They seem to have decided to make my apartment a permanent home until winter comes. Can't seem to get rid of them, but they did lessen after I cleaned the place a bit. lol.

It looks like I'll be taking a position of tester at work, leaving my developer status for now. The big boss wanted me to do it and see if I like it... I'm not really thrilled but it could be easy. Just don't know how the rest of my career will pan out. As long as I do a good job they/I will be happy.

29 days until FFXIV comes out. Pumped!

One Year Later

2010-07-03T20:05:00.002-04:00

It's officially been one year since I've first started this blog and one year and one month since I've moved to Connecticut. Wow, I cannot believe how much has happened in the past year and how quickly the anniversary came. About this time last year I was living with Josh. I remember playing Call of Duty 4 after work all the time and I remember picking like 20 lbs of blueberries. I remember cooking a lot and making sweet deserts on Sundays. I remember meeting a boy for a month and making a mistake with Josh. I remember tearing myself apart over it and barely hanging on. I have so much to thank you guys for helping me through it. I am very fortunate to have started this blog.

After I split with Josh I got my own apartment and I've been living under my terms. I haven't talked with Josh since. In the end I think it was better for me, emotionally. I was always depressed when I was with him because I knew I could never have him. Now that I'm on my own and living without him I don't get depressed anymore. I've honestly never had a moment since then where I have been really sad.

Nowadays I still play Magic: the Gathering a lot and I'm looking forward to the release of Final Fantasy XIV online. They finally published a release date for it: Sept. 30th! It'll be coming out the week of my birthday and I'll be taking about 2 weeks of work off to play it lol...

Next week is Connecticon, a convention held every year in CT. It'll be a fun filled weekend of Magic and other geeky activities I am sure. Looking forward to it!

Another day

2010-06-15T18:15:00.002-04:00

I've probably done a lot the past few weeks. Last weekend for example I went to Rhode Island with an attractive yet obnoxious teen to play in a magic tournament. I've also recently gone back to eating real food for dinners. Tonight I'll be playing cards again as well.

Final Fantasy 14 has been making advances in development and they had a display at E3 which was today. I can't wait for that game to come out. I've given up on FF11 because I just can't play without my original character.

When I logged into MSN messenger today an article popped up called "Australian 'angel' saves lives at suicide spot". I read it and felt my tears well up at one point. I think it might have inspired me to post. Here is the link: Link

Paranormal

2010-05-27T01:35:00.003-04:00

Okay, normally I would think I'm just going crazy but I'm convinced something paranormal just happened to me.

I was out playing Magic tonight, as Wednesday is Magic night and all. After magic I headed back home and stopped to get gas. I noticed that I didn't have my phone on me and I checked my pockets and the seat of my car to see if my phone had fallen out, but to no avail.

So I thought maybe I had left my phone at home instead of at the card shop because I really didn't want to drive all the way back. I checked at home and I didn't see it there so I decided to drive back. It is about 12:20 AM at this point so I know I have just wasted sleeping time but I couldn't wait until Friday night to get my phone back.

It had been raining hard earlier and apparently hail as well and when I left the rain had stopped, but not five minutes after I left for the card shop again the rain had started back up but this time it was raining really hard. Like flash flood hard. AND it was terrific lightning storm.

So I finally get to the card shop thanking God I made it there safely and I see that there are no cars there... everyone had left and I couldn't get into the store. I ran from my car through the pouring rain and back because I had to make sure in case the door was locked. I was so afraid of getting hit by lightning.

I ran back and jumped in my car and climbed into the back seat. I decided it was best to wait out the eye of the storm. So I waited about 10-15 minutes and decided to climb back into the front seat when I saw it. My phone was sitting there on the driver's seat........ I said "God?" out loud in a frightened voice. Seriously, I know I checked the seat and my pockets and all around for my phone. It didn't just fall out of my pocket into my seat. Normally I would just say wow I am such an idiot how could I miss it, but my phone magically appeared in my seat. I'm not even mad that I made the trek "for nothing" because I'm convinced it wasn't with me. The lightning on the way back though was just spectacular.

Alumni weekend and more Magic

2010-05-13T22:53:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been like 2 weeks since i've updated... so much for returning to frequent posting lol. 2 weekends ago Jamie and I left to go visit our fraternity in western PA. They were having an alumni golf tournament, so we wanted to see some old friends (we had no intention of golfing, haha). We rented a car because we didn't want to put the miles on our cars and we drove off to New York to pick up another fraternity friend. After we picked up Adam, we went south to Philadelphia to pick up another friend to make it 4 of us. Shortly after we left Philly the rental car started shaking violently and we realized it wouldn't go in reverse! We spent a couple hours but we eventually found an Enterprise to swap cars with us. Man, I can't believe a rental company gave us a crap car. I mean really crappy...

It was about 12 hours on the road since we left when we arrived at our fraternity. We met up with old acquaintances for dinner, then spent the evening at our favorite local bar. The next day my Mom came up to visit and she and my sister and I went to a park for a few hours. It was nice of course to see family during my visit, since I really don't drive to PA very often.

Sat night involved a BYOB at our fraternity house. It was an enjoyable night until one of the girls blacked out and hit her head on the ground and had to go to the hospital. She looked as pale as a ghost! The party ended then and we set up our beds in the lounge and watched Kill Bill until we fell asleep.

If you were a follower from way back you may realize that this was the same fraternity that Josh went to. He didn't go because his girlfriend's graduation was the following week or so and he was going then. Yes, his girlfriend goes to the same school and is friends with my 'brothers' so without a doubt I expected her to blab her unintelligent mouth about what happened between Josh and I. Well no one said anything to me, but I could tell that some of them knew. One of my closer friends that is also friends with Josh didn't really acknowledge me :/ I was/am upset about the whole thing but what's happened is in the past and I have no control over that.

...

I've figured out that I have played magic at the card shop for 7 out of the last 8 days... Last weekend was a pro-tour qualifier, which we all played in. I went 2-2 and then dropped because I just wasn't feeling well. I needed more sleep and food to eat to be more competitive. This Saturday is another large tournament called Regionals that I will play in. I hope to do well there at least.

...

Work might get interesting soon, since I will be on an Agile team soon enough. Right now my manager is off for the next like 3 weeks, so I'm just keeping myself busy until then. At the end of this month it will have been exactly one year since I've started working there, WOW. I cannot believe how fast time has gone and all that has happened to me in the last year. I plan on having an anniversary post around that time since I started this blog shortly after :)

The weekend

2010-04-24T12:27:00.000-04:00

During the week I noticed a crack in my windshield. It starts on the passenger side at the top and runs down to the left past my rear-view mirror. I think it might even be getting larger, so I need to have it looked at this week. I'm planning on driving myself and 3 other friends back to college next weekend, so I might need to have that fixed...

Wednesday night was another magic night. I managed to build a crazy deck and won 6 packs. Last night, Friday, only 5 people showed up for magic including myself, so we couldn't sanction the event. It's unfortunate that we couldn't and that all the shops around seem to be competing for players. I did manage to open an expensive card, so I was at least happy with that. Sunday night there is a "release event" that I'll play in too.

Lots of magic

2010-04-15T19:47:00.002-04:00

So last weekend was member appreciation day at the card shop I play at. So I got up at like noonish and went and played there until 5AM lol... Non stop magic. We often do what we call a 2v2, where just four of us draft and the winning team gets to keep all the rares.

Well for one of the 2v2s I got paired down with an inexperienced player so I was a little upset. Then I opened a really rare and expensive card and was a little flustered, because I knew I was probably going to lose it, so I really tried my best to draft the best deck. I believe I did and we had some great games. In the end we went to overtime and I lost the final match. But afterwards Jake (who beat me) came up to me and asked me to sign his card! With a sharpie! He said it was the best game of magic he's played in a long time and wanted to remember it. I don't know, but I think signing his card was more memorable than if I had won it myself...

This Friday at midnight is the release of a new card set, so I'll be playing at the shop then.

Back to posting regularly?

2010-04-08T23:19:00.002-04:00

Well.. sorry I haven't been posting very often like when I started, but now that it's Spring maybe I'll be in a better mood :P 2 days ago I started really cleaning up the apartment. I even unpacked my last box from when I moved in! As I was cleaning I thought about "Spring cleaning" and wondered it there is something about spring that makes us want to get stuff done? Another human trait perhaps that is (mostly) unavoidable for even non-conformists as they won't even realize it? I'm rambling :P

I've been playing Magic a lot, mostly 2 nights a week for quite a few hours each night. I think I'll have to stop playing on Wednesdays, since I have to work the next day. Last night I got back after 1 AM and I had to get up early for work.. that didn't work out well. I woke up almost missing work and I decided to work at home (which I can do with my laptop) so I wouldn't be late. I was still tired though and I still have to do some work before I go to bed.

Next Friday a new Magic set is coming out, so I've been pre-ordering some of the cards on ebay. I'm getting a few lots of cards for cheaper than I think they'll end up being when they see play, which if fun and actually is kind of a rush to try to outbid people haha. Like I have to wait until the last second of the auction and click bid.

So I got my computer set up and it's working great! Windows 7 runs very smooth on it and the 24 inch monitor is nice, lol. I also went out and got a high quality mouse, the Razor Death Adder. It's a precision mouse that requires only the slightest movement to move the curser around the large screen, which is really handy.

In other news, I've been thinking about getting a smart phone kind of soon. Probably a Motorola Droid after my trip at the end of the month. I'll be going back to my college in PA to attend my fraternity's alumni golf tournament. I've never actually golfed before, haha... but I'm going just to meet up with the chapter before they graduate.

Gloomy day.

2010-03-22T22:29:00.003-04:00

Did the dishes and cleaned up the place quite a bit. The apartment looks pretty good with the area rug I got a few months ago... Doing laundry at the moment and waiting for the FFXI update to complete. It's rainy and was gloomy all day, but it was the good kind. The kind where it's not too cold so it's ok. Stirs the emotions.

Tomorrow my new computer will be arriving, over a month after I ordered it... wow was that slow. Hopefully it will be delivered after I get home from work so I can actually sign for it.

Today is my sister's birthday. She just turned 22. My brother's birthday is at the very end of the month as well. He'll be 19. I sent them both cards today.. hoping to brighten my brother's day since he probably doesn't get much mail at the clinic.

Alice, Final Fantasy XIII, and Magic

2010-03-09T18:49:00.004-05:00

This past weekend I played in a Magic "Standard" tournament with Jamie and a few other friends. 3 out of the 4 of us made the top 8, which was pretty cool.

Today I picked up Final Fantasy XIII and the special edition strategy guide. I was planning on playing it all day, since I took the day off, but I've only played a little bit. It's not bad or anything, just gonna take it slow I guess.

Sunday night I went to see Alice in Wonderland (by myself). I normally wouldn't go by myself unless I knew the theater was going to be empty, but this was just a movie I had to see. I loove Tim Burton + Johnny Depp. Two of my many favorite people. The movie was alright, except for the drunk guy sitting next to me laughing his ass off at stupid things and talking the entire time... Maybe he was on drugs, idk. I'll see it again on blue ray when it comes out :P After the movie I went out and got a poster with the Cheshire Cat on it, lol.

Another day

2010-02-26T19:28:00.003-05:00

Well, my brother seems to have gotten worse than where he was at a few months ago. I haven't mentioned him much so it will be hard to explain everything, but basically he was taken off of his psychotic medicines cold turkey and his behavior has now reverted to his erratic self. He tried to overdose on his depression meds with some other drug but failed and now he is at a mental hospital where they are trying to get him back on his original meds. He was diagnosed a while ago with first stage schizophrenia, probably surfaced by his history of drug use. To top it off, this girl he was not really seeing thought she might be pregnant with him........ but we don't think it's the case, at least we hope to god not.

ANYWAY, I just got done ordering a new computer. It's pretty nice, not top of the line but close and has room to upgrade. Decided to get one today instead of a giant HDTV, guess I'll save that for another day.. maybe closer to when FFXIV comes out.

I told my managers that I'm taking a vacation day on March 9th. I didn't tell them the reason - because that's the release day of FFXIII :) Love my job that I'm able to take a paid day off to play video games, lol. I plan on taking a week off for FFXIV.

My bed comes tomorrow, w00t! Only one night left on the air mattress and I'll be sleeping like a king (or queen).

Got my new glasses and contacts last night too... man I have spent so much this month, I think more than I ever have.

Life

2010-02-23T19:23:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately how lucky I am and how much I love life. I also ordered a nice bed and it'll be coming on Saturday... In the meantime I find out my brother is in the psych ward and I should "call mom" for more details. I'm afraid to call, cus I'm pretty sure why that would be.

PS3 and Dilated Eyes

2010-02-12T18:19:00.003-05:00

So I did my taxes recently and was fortunate enough to get a nice sized tax return. I've been thinking and scouting hard how to spend my money since then. So far I've determined that I really should get a new bed and bed frame, both of which can be pretty expensive.

Last night, after work I decided to pick up a PS3. I had some money saved from Christmas that I was dedicating for it, so it wasn't going to take much from my pocket so I felt justified in buying one. I went to Walmart looking for one and they were sold out, but on the way back I realized I should stop by an Optometrist (eye doctor) to set up an eye exam because I needed to get more contacts / new glasses. I figured I'd get the PS3 after I set up the appointment.

So I get to the Optometrist and they confirmed they take my health insurance and then they said they could do the eye exam right there, right now, so I'm like alllriiight sure that will save me another trip. During the exam the doctor put a drop into each of my eyes and told me they'd feel funny for about an hour. I didn't think much of it, I figured it was something like Iodine or something to help him see blood vessels or God knows what. After the exam I pick out a pair of glasses and pay for them (wow, glasses are expensive and there goes a chunk of my money already).

Right after the exam I decide to drive to Best Buy to look for a PS3, even though my eyes still feel funny and something just didn't feel right, but hey, no one told me I couldn't drive. I get to Best Buy did a little looking around but I was happy when I found they did have a PS3. I got the 120 gig PS3 slim with HDMI cables and I also got Harry Potter 6 and Pirates 3 on Blu-Ray.

I went home and went to look in the mirror because my eyes really did still funny. I think I scared myself, because I was looking into a mirror in a bright room and my pupils were almost completely dilated! My mind was racing trying to figure out why my eyes were like that and I the only thing that could come to mind was the eye drops the doctor put in my eye. But surely, the doctor would have TOLD ME that he was DILATING MY FUCKING EYES. The people at Best Buy must have thought I was on heavy drugs... So here I am in my apartment upset because my eyes are fucked up and the doctor never told me that I shouldn't be looking at bright lights or using a computer because the monitor emits so much light.

I turned out all the lights, turned off my monitor and proceeded to set up my PS3 in the dark with the light of my cell phone. I tried many times but I am unable to get the PS3 set up with HDMI. My TV is an Insignia 720p HDTV so I figured it would work, but all the directions I find online aren't helping... so I'm trying really hard to fit a new TV into my budget as well as a new bed. I think I can do it.. oh and a new couch to watch the TV on lol. I'm off to play Magic, wish me good luck!

Microburst Snowstorm

2010-01-28T18:58:00.002-05:00

It was snowing a good bit today and then it stopped. Just when I was leaving work it started up again, this time a little heavier than before. Half way home all of a sudden a thick sheet of hail/ freezing rain came down and the roads were COVERED and out of nowhere a bright flash was in the sky and I heard THUNDER! I have never ever seen lightning while it was snowing out, I was like WHAT THE FUCK in my car. Everyone was having a hard time on the road and I was a little nervous about making it back safely. Thankfully I did make it back and now my car is in the garage. Hopefully the roads will be clear for tomorrow.

Shane the Navi

2010-01-04T20:55:00.002-05:00

Hahahaha I just photo-shopped myself into a Navi. Yep, that is me.

New Years, not much going on

2010-01-03T01:33:00.004-05:00

This past week was really nice for me at work since it was a slow week. Most everybody has this week off anyway, so I worked from home most of the week. It was really just great. When I come back after the holidays it's going to be really busy for the remainder of the year though, so it will be interesting. I suppose my new years resolution is to give a lot of effort in learning more about my job so that I can become a valuable asset to the company.

With several days working at home and having New Years off and the weekend, I haven't really seen or talked to many people, and it kind of put me in a depressive mood.

According to Microsoft support my Xbox is on the way back from getting repaired, but the site won't tell me when I can expect it... which means they will probably try to deliver it while I'm at work of course. I've gone like a month and a half to 2 months without playing Modern Warfare 2 and I really want to get back into that.

I went out a few days ago and bought a variety of beers. It's kind of funny really, more than half of what's in my fridge is beer... I was reading a message board and someone was raving about authentic German beers and they were raving about Paulaner and any Hefe Weissbier in general, so I picked up Paulaner and Weihenstephaner and I already had a bunch of Blue Moon in the Fridge. I also bought a six pack of organic Coffee Porter made by Wolaver's. It turns out to be a very good beer, one that I hope isn't just a seasonal beer, which I think it is.

Update

2009-12-28T00:33:00.004-05:00

Wow, ultra long time since i've last posted... Maybe I'm just losing interest, idk. I still plan on writing when I can and maybe even try to make the posts more interesting (lol).

I drove back to my Mom's place Tuesday night for Christmas. I left close to Midnight and the drive was about 7 hours X_X. Not a good idea considering I didn't take the nap I was planning on taking before-hand. Jamie called me up and wanted to hang out at the card shop down the street. Alan was with him and we played an interesting board game about building settlements and managing resources. Well anyway I think I barely made it through that drive to PA... I was so tired I considered looking up the nearest Walmart on my GPS to sleep in the parking lot over-night. I decided not to as it was very cold that night plus I didn't want to get mugged or something... plus I just wanted to get the drive over with.

Christmas was nice, since I was with my entire immediate family, which given the circumstances with my brother, will not happen very often at all. I was kind of a big spender at Christmas unfortunately (haha). I got my mom a digital camera because she left her nice camera on a plane... got my dad a bottle of scotch and a mind puzzle thing, my sister a Walmart gift card and a Twilight poster (my idea of a joke, but I'm not sure if my sister new that), and my brother 3 books that seemed interesting. Oh and my dog some treats o_O

I just got back home to my apartment. I left Saturday night, this time napping beforehand. However, I discovered my iPod wasn't charged, so I was without music the whole time since my radio doesn't work >.< Also there was very thick fog for about 100 miles and heavy rain the rest of the way, making the trip nearly 9 hours...

Didn't do much today, went out to the mall not sure what i was looking for... I want to get a PS3 soon, but I think I'll wait until next month. I have a desktop computer ordered from Dell and it'll be coming next month, but I think I may have made a bad choice on it. I looked at some reviews after I bought it (go figure) and it turns out not to be very good for gaming, so I plan on listing it on eBay to see how much i can get for it instead of taking the 15% restocking fee hit from Dell. Then I'll use the money to order a PC from either Cyberpower or Ibuypower.

Steelers are still in the playoff hunt! I'm sure they can win next week at Miami, but I'm not going to hold my breath right now, as they still need like 3 out of 4 of the other teams looking for a wild-card spot to lose their match-ups. Plus I can't see them really beating the Patriots or Indy right now, but maybe if Polamalu gets healthy for the post-season...

If you are still reading by now, lol, how was your Christmas/Holiday?

Friday Night

2009-12-12T13:05:00.004-05:00

It was painful watching the Steelers lose to the Brownies on Thursday... wow their season really is over. At least my fantasy team made it to the playoffs. This week I have a bye since I am 1st place in standings, then I'll have a semi-finals match and hopefully a championship game after that.

There weren't many people at work Friday, mostly because my team was out skiing. I don't care for being cold, so it was nice since I left a little early at the end of the day. My friend Jamie had his birthday party at his girlfriend's house last night. It was a potluck dinner so I made a sweet potato casserole, one of my favorite dishes. Yum! We also played a group game where you have a card with a name on it and you have to give your team hints as to who it is. I forget the name of the game... but it was fun. My friend Adam from college came up for the party too, so it was nice seeing him again.

Here's the link to the casserole I made:
Recipe

This is War

2009-12-08T22:12:00.003-05:00

Uh lets see. I probably shouldn't wait a week to update, as I'm probably missing a few things when I post. Last Friday I went to Omni Comics for Friday Night Magic. I went even though my friend Jamie was out of state and I usually go with him. I built a kind of crappy Green/Red deck that I managed to come in 4th with out of 16 people. Only won 1 pack... that's one complaint I have about the place I play at; the prize support kind of sucks.

Worked at home today since the landlord was suppose to come and replace some cracked windows, but he never showed up. They called and will probably come to replace them in a week. I don't really care since they are paying for heat, but I don't really want them going into my apartment when I'm not in it so I'm trying to work remotely when they come.

Dan called today (He's the judge at the place I play magic). He wanted to know if I was up for a draft today, so I said yeah and that's what I did tonight. I built a really strong Red/Black deck that was very aggressive, but I lost some key games out of sheer bad luck. First night that I didn't win anything... I guess I can't win them all /shrug.

I discovered that 30 Seconds to Mars, one of my favorite bands, released a new album today, called "This is War." I'm listening to it now for the first time, and I'm not really sure how I like it yet. I'll have a better opinion after I listen to it a couple of times, but I think they went a step down from the power of the previous album.

Xbox broke, Lady Gaga, and heat!

2009-12-01T21:46:00.004-05:00

Past two days at work were so very boring. I find I spend more and more time just reading articles or Final Fantasy XI message boards. We're in a lull right now I think but work should pick up very quickly after Christmas, or so I hear.

My Xbox 360 broke... it won't recognize any disc in the tray, so it's either a problem with the lens or with the drive. I contacted Microsoft and I'm having it repaired/replaced for about a hundred bucks... Sucks, but it's something I just have to do. At least this one lasted me 2 years.

I finally got the heat in my apartment working, yay! I just had to hit the little reset button.. so now I know it won't be cold here anymore.

So now I'm watching the new Scrubs premiere, waiting for my xbox to get repaired, and figuring out how many months it will take me to get a new computer to play FFXI (I miss it so much!).

5 facts time:

1. I'm still eating the enormous amount of Halloween candy I bought over a month ago.
2. I put Christmas lights around the place and on my fake tree, although the ones on the tree went out already...
3. I think I'm addicted to Coke Zero.
4. I think I'm addicted to Lady Gaga. Downloaded her first CD recently and Bad Romance, so good.
5. My student loans just went into repayment status... FML. Called today and got a bunch of them graduated, so that will help.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-29T14:03:00.002-05:00

Went home (err... to my mom's house) Tuesday night for Thanksgiving break. I was able to work remotely Wednesday so I left a day early. I find night travel much easier since the roads are basically clear and I especially wanted to avoid the holiday traffic. I went shopping on Black Friday with my sister, but I didn't really see any sales that I really liked. I kind of wanted to get something from American Eagle, but the lines were way too long.

I left Saturday night to head back home, but I stopped at my Dad's camp since it was on the way. He had been mentioning to me that I should stop by so I figured I would. I had a drink and hung out with him and one of his friends in the cabin for a few hours, then went to bed. Got up at 4 am to head out, again avoiding any traffic that I could. Dad hugged me on the way out, saying that it meant a lot to him that I visited. I was glad that I did :)

Pro Tour Qualifier

2009-11-22T18:08:00.002-05:00

I've managed to unpack most of my things and I am enjoying living on my own.

I had training for two days at work last week, so that was a nice break from work. Tony, an old, funny Chinese guy and one of my mentors at work wants me to go snowboarding with him and a bunch of my coworkers on my team, but I told him maybe next year. I've gone snowboarding and skiing before, but with my experience it was never fun for me. Sure, I probably didn't like it because I was new and fell a lot... but it's also just too cold and dangerous for me to consider it fun. I want to like it, so maybe next year. Besides, it's pretty expensive to get all of the right gear that i would need.

Friday night I went to a coworker's house to hang out. He had a bunch of us over and we listened to music, played some Modern Warfare 2 on the Xbox, and drank a little. After a while my coworker's left execpt for Drew and myself. Then it got a little awkward as other people came over that we didn't know. They all looked 17 or 18 but claimed to be 20. I don't know why but I didn't leave until after 1 am...

Saturday I got up real early to go to the Magic: The Gathering Pro Tour Qualifier. There were about 280 players all competing for the one Pro Tour ticket to San Diego and lots of prizes. Each player recieved 6 booster packs to make a deck out of, and it was Swiss pairing all the way. My card pool was very strong, but I made some mistakes and didn't have the luck needed to go all the way. I finished 5-4 after 9 rounds, which isn't too too bad. Only got 3 boosters as a prize for finishing in 53rd place.

We went to my friend Jamie's house after to hang out. Some of us wanted to go to a Chinese Buffet for dinner, but others wanted to have delivery, so we ordered a ton of Chinese food to simulate a buffet at home. The only thing I had to eat all day was a fun sized Kit-kat bar, so I made sure we ordered a ton of food! It was too much though, we couldn't finish it..

Today I'm watching football games and my fantasy team continue to go undefeated as it goes 11-0. I need to prepare for a presentation type thing that I need to do at work to explain what I learned a training a few weeks ago. My boss is just trying to scare me, so I'm not worried about it. I'll throw something together and prepare some handouts and I will make it a casual conversation as opposed to a formal presentation.

Sorry I've been neglectful and I hope you all have been doing well.

Broken Heart in a New Place

2009-11-08T22:01:00.003-05:00

It feels like every time I come here to post, something drastic has happened in my life. Well, hopefully that will change soon as I get settled in my new place. Since the last post, Anthony broke up with me. I thought our relationship was very strong, all the way up until Halloween and after. We shared so much affection for each other, but then last week I noticed he wasn't acting the same. He was almost trying to avoid talking to me online and he made up excuses for when I asked if he'd like to see my new place this weekend. So I asked him if something happened, because I felt like something was different, and he just replies that he wants to break up... I really don't know what to think of it all, I mean we had a good thing going and he just all of a sudden lost interest. I don't get it. I really liked him, and I think I'm slowly getting over it, but I think I'm going to take a good break from trying to date anyone right now. I just can't handle another set back.

So I finally have a place to live, and I'm all moved in now. I just have to unpack and organize everything. I do enjoy living on my own now; I have a greater sense of freedom here.

Friday night my friend Jamie called me up to see if I needed help moving some things with his truck. I said yeah, then he also wanted to know if I'd like to come with him to a Magic: the Gathering friday night draft event. I was still feeling down about Anthony, so I was really glad he called me up. I had a good time and I played two sanctioned drafts and did surprisingly well in them, considering I haven't seen the card set until that night.

All day Saturday I was moving stuff between apartments and buying food and stuff for the new place.

Today, I finished moving stuff over and Jamie calls me again and wants to see if I'm interested in playing a Magic sealed deck tournament. I didn't have time to play the whole thing, so I just went over and watched him play for a little bit. Afterwards, I did some more shopping for apartment stuff and then I went out to meet Bob for dinner at Chuck's steakhouse in MA. I had a really good time with a great friend once again.

Thanks for everything.

Halloween, Superman, and The Boondock Saints

2009-10-30T21:19:00.004-04:00

Sorry I haven't been posting. It feels like there is too much turmoil going on even when there isn't. When I move into my new place and get settled I'll have more time to post. No, I don't officially have a new place yet, but I've looked at quite a number of places and I'm looking at the last tomorrow, which I think has the most potential to be my new place.

Thursday night Anthony took me to see The Boondock Saints double feature at a theater in Rhode Island. I was skeptical about the sequal, but I must say it was definitely good. You must go see it and if you haven't seen the first one, then go out and buy it on DVD. Don't even rent it buy it. Then go see the sequal :D

Tomorrow, Halloween, I'm going to Anthony's friend - Ashley's house to watch horror flicks and drink. Ashley is Anthony's best friend and it's their tradition to watch scary movies and drink together on Halloween, so they both wanted me to come join them. They also dress up >_> and are wearing Legends of the Hidden Temple shirts. I've decided to come dressed as Superman, with a Superman t-shirt under a white button-down shirt and fake dorky-glasses. I also picked out the perfect drink to bring. I got Midori Melon Liquor and Absolut Mango Vodka and Sprite. And to top it off I bought green glow sticks as a garnish! I'm calling it Kryptonite! :D

Boyfriend

2009-10-22T20:47:00.005-04:00

Last weekend Anthony came over again, this time he spent the night on Saturday. We drank beer again, more pumpkin ales. This time I got Harvest Moon, Dogfish Head Punkin Ale, and Jack's Pumpkin Spice. We got more drunk this weekend than last because the Dogfish Head was at least 7% alc./volume. It was also a very good pumpkin ale. If we keep this up every weekend, we're going to consider ourselves beer connoisseurs. We ended up watching Coraline, Drag Me to Hell, and bits and pieces of War of the Worlds and Scream and I was singing along to The Nightmare Before Christmas by the end of the night @_@; I say we saw bits and pieces of some movies because we were 'distracting' each other ^_^.

Tuesday night Anthony and I saw Where the Wild Things Are, which was a nicely done movie. I enjoyed it. Wednesday, last night, I drove to meet him at his house in RI, so that I could attend his screening of Drag Me to Hell at his film club. He was presenting it and thought it would be nice if I attended, so I did. I met a few of his friends, all of which are girls, and then we went to Chili's for a nice late night dinner. I told him I had a good time, even though I don't think I was showing it. On my way back he sent me a text saying that I made his day, and thank you :). It made me happy.

Right now I'm still looking at apartment options, desperately trying to find something cheaper than the one I will sign on Saturday. I think I'll try to leave work early and look at studio apartments... I'm really trying to be cheap now while I can, to pay off debt.

Tomorrow I'll be meeting Anthony again in RI to go to a haunted factory. I think it's like a haunted house, but instead it's a factory XD. Afterwards we're going to go to a bar with some of his friends he wants me to meet.

Saturday he plans to come over again to watch more DVDs. I've already got the beer purchased :P. Magic Hat and Post Road Pumpkin Ale. Plus I have a few bottles left over from last weekend, so we've got plenty.

Oh, forgot to mention: Yes we are boyfriends now. He asked me last weekend if it would be ok to introduce me as his boyfriend to his friends. :P I said yeah, and asked if he considered us boyfriends. He said yeah :P. So he popped the question before I did, which was a relief to me.

Chinese dinner date

2009-10-13T22:38:00.002-04:00

Just got back from our date tonight. Pandorum wasn't playing anymore, so we decided to get some Chinese for dinner instead. We were planning on going to a place called "Uncle Chong's Chinese Restaurant", but apparently it doesn't exist anymore. Luckily my GPS knows of any local places to eat, so I had it find me the nearest Chinese place and we ate there. Wasn't bad food, it was actually one of the nicer Chinese restaurants I've been to. We talked in the parking lot for a little while aftwards. It was freeeezing out there though. He told me to wear more layers next time :P We finished with a hug and a kiss. He's going to be coming over again this Saturday, hopefully he'll be able to spend the night. If it doesn't come up before then, I'm definetly going to ask him if he'd be my boyfriend. My first boyfriend :]

Sunday movie marathon

2009-10-12T20:07:00.003-04:00

Sunday was the big day with Anthony. First, I got up and went to the owner of the shared home I had signed up for to get my check back. Thankfully he had it ready and it was over pretty quickly. Then I got back and really cleaned up my room since it needed...

Anthony came over a little after 2PM and we started our movie marathon. We saw A Nightmare on Elm Street first. It was alright I guess, a little slow, but ok. Then we watched Kill Bill, which is always amazing. Next came Halloween. This is when we started with the beer. At this point we are mostly just talking and not paying attention to the movie though, but he's filling me in as it goes along. I had a bunch of questions, mainly since I don't think the movie Halloween makes much sense to me. But we put the next movie in, Kill Bill vol. 2, and he definitely missed a lot of it while we talked. He was gradually shifting his body to face me as we sat on my bed. He was getting touchy and kind of just leaned in and we started to kiss. It was a long first kiss between us, or at least it felt that way. We then kind of just talked about how we both wanted to on previous dates but neither of us had the guts in front of other people. So we keep drinking, talking, and making out off and on throughout that movie and through the next one, which was Hellraiser. I couldn't tell you anything about the plot of that movie, I was completely distracted ;P Our kissing kept getting more and more intense, and he even took my shirt off at one point and was just feeling my chest.

After Hellraiser he wanted me to show him how to play Call of Duty 4, so we both took turns playing between deaths for a little bit, then he realized it was really late, so he had to go. He had Monday off from school, but I didn't have the day off of work, so I still had to get up the next morning. Man, did I have a headache this morning. Thankfully it wore off mid-day though, but my lip was sore all day :P

We are going to see Pandorum in theaters tomorrow night, should be fun!

Url and housing changes

2009-10-10T20:11:00.003-04:00

Hey followers, I just want to let you know that I changed the url of my blog. It was previously skipintothenight.blogspot.com and now it is unwaveringtruth.blogspot.com. I'd rather have a cooler name, but I already changed it and it was hard to find something available :P

Anyway, I'm sorry that I did that, but I chose to do that instead of making my blog private. I had foolishly given my blog link to Josh in hopes that he would see how much I was hurting and so that he could remember the good times we had, but I was wrong. I had a fight with him last night. It turns out that the root of the reason he is leaving me is because his GF hates me for what I did. Apparently he'd ditch his friend just to please his GF. So I can't even attempt to be friends with him if she won't let him. He's blind, insecure, and homophobic. I never saw this coming, but now I think it was for the best.

Today I responded to an ad for a shared home on craigslist. It was only 600/month with all utilies included and I got my own bedroom, bathroom, and living area. The kitchen was also very nice. Only thing is, I'm sharing a home with a 60 year old stranger. At first I was really excited that I found a good deal, I even gave him a check for next months rent already. But came back home and called my mom to tell her the good news and she wasn't very happy, she was worried in fact. I felt I had made a rash decision and I felt I truly couldn't be comfortable in a shared home, so I called him and told him I was withdrawing and asked him if I could come pick up my check. He said yeah, that I can, so I will be picking it up tomorrow at noon. I really felt bad for doing that, but i just need to stick it out and find a single apartment somewhere.

Tomorrow Anthony is coming over at 2 to start our movie marathon. He asked me what kind of beer I liked so that he could bring it over, lol. I really think he just wants to loosen me up, but it's cool I probably could use it and I know we aren't going to home base, it wouldn't happen this suddenly, but maybe second or third ;) I went out and bought 2 six packs, one of Jacks Pumpkin Spice and the other is Hooker Oktoberfest. Hooker is a Connecticut only beer that is pretty much amazing. I went to their distillery once, they were having an all you can drink "taste test" night, so I got to taste a wide variety of their flavors, and they were all awesome.

So tonight I am cleaning up my room and doing laundry to get ready for tomorrow. I hope you all are having a great weekend, and sorry again for changing my url.

-Shane

DMV, Zombieland, and a small announcement

2009-10-09T02:25:00.005-04:00

Today my manager had the day off, so I decided to leave work around lunch time. I told my team I had an appointment and I'd be working remotely afterwards, so I left and went to the DMV to get my CT registration and license plates finally. My car didn't have a front bracket for the plate though, so I went to walmart and bought one. It's wierd though, it's not fitting right and the front plate is tilted downwards to the point where you can't really read what's on it.

I left around 8 so that I could meet Anthony around 9 to see Zombieland. We walked to the walmart next door first to pick out candy to smuggle in. The movie was actually pretty good, I liked it, although the sound kept going in and out towards the end, but that's the theater's fault. We went out to the parking lot and talked for a few minutes but had to cut it short because it was so late and I still had to drive back. I'm really awkward, I've come to realize, I don't know what to do in relationships. By now many people who are dating have probably at least made the first kiss and I know we both want to.. I just don't know how to start it. He hugged me as he said goodbye, and I could tell it was hard for him to initiate it too. Maybe he's afriad he's rushing things too much and he'd freak me out or something.

Anyway, he is coming over on Sunday so we can watch some DVD's. We came up with a list of movies we want to make each other see. For example, he's a huge horror movie buff, but I've never seen some of the classics like A Nightmare on Elm Street or Halloween, so he's going to sit me through them. On the other hand, he has never seen Kill Bill, The Lord of the Rings, The Boondock Saints, or even Star Wars so I'll be sitting him through those.

I would like to take this opportunity to make a formal announcement: I will be making this blog private for one month starting October 11th. If you would like to read posts in that time period and you haven't followed, then do so, otherwise don't and just wait for the month to expire. Unless there isn't anyone who secretly follows me D: , then disregard that D:

Apartments and bowling

2009-10-07T01:22:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking lately that it would just be better if I got a single apartment. Yeah, it's more expensive and when my loans kick in I'll be making things tight, but it's just so much better to have free reign over my living space. If I were to have company over.. it would just be better to have them over at my place in a more comfortable environment.

Speaking of housing, I checked out the cheap shared home I mentioned in the previous post. It's, well, cheap for a reason. Bad neighborhood, although they live next door to a cop. But the inside was just unappealing and I'd have restrictions on having guests over... so I think I'm going to tell them I will decline. I really do want to tough it out for like a year or two and just use the money I'd save to pay of loans or something, but I don't think I can do it sanely. I just can't expect to meet someone in a relationship and bring them over the house... so I'm going to have to side with the potential of love here over money.

On that note! Tonight I met Anthony at a bowling alley, where we played 3 games. Last night he suggested that we make a non-monetary bet on the outcome of the game, and whoever wins gets to claim it after the game. lol, I think I knew at this point, at least in my mind, that he probably wanted a kiss as his reward. Well, that's what I wanted. So we bowled 3 games and I won every one of them... I kind of felt bad, because I'm not a good bowler at all.. but apparently it was literally the second time he's gone bowling... so yeah. We walked out into the parking lot and just talked. We talked from 9:30 until midnight. He asked me what I wanted for winning, but I just couldn't say I wanted the kiss because there was this group of people standing a little bit away from us, also talking. (Apparently the parking lot of a bowling alley on a Tuesday night is a popular place to hang).

He told me he had something to tell me, but he didn't want to say it in front of the other people, so we walked a bit away from them out of hearing range. He told me that he really liked me... I returned saying I liked him too. So we just kind of continue our conversation and I know we are both just dieing for the other people to leave us alone, but it just got so late that we called it a night. I wanted to tell him that I wanted a kiss, but I just don't think it would have felt right in front of the other group of adults. He want's to do something Thursday... kind of soon given our distance (he lives in RI), but I said ok. He might come to visit me at my apartment, but I'm not sure if it will be a good idea given what's been happening with Josh and me.

Picking up the pieces

2009-10-03T21:20:00.003-04:00

First of all, I'd like to thank those of you who have reached out to me within the past week. I really needed someone to talk to and I'm glad you were there. It sounds silly but I really wanted to die. I'm feeling much better now, even though we are still splitting and I've lost the Josh I used to know.

Right now, I am looking at 2 potential places to live, with the third option of staying at the apartment and putting an ad up for a roommate. One of those options is about half of what I'm paying for the current apartment + utilities, so I'm really hoping that will work out. I'd be saving money equivalent to a car payment, so it's like I get a free car out of this whole ordeal. I get to look at the place in person on Tuesday.

I met with Anthony again, one week after our dinner date. This time we saw Jennifer's Body, a horror/comedy about a teenage girl (Megan Fox) who turns into a demon and terrorizes her school. It was kind of corny, which was I think intentional by the director, but overall it was enjoyable to watch. Anthony wants to meet again Tuesday already to go bowling. :)

I'm really thinking of starting a new blog without any traces back to this one when I get a new place. It'll be like starting a new chapter in my life. I haven't decided how I will do it if I'm not going to have a bridge from this blog to the other, but I'll figure something out.

Game Over.

2009-09-27T23:15:00.003-04:00

God...

Josh is leaving me. He's doesn't want to be roommates anymore. He's finding another apartment. It's all over. I fucked up a million times over and this is killing me. He's killed me. I've killed me.

I tried talking to him. I told him about the crush. I told him what i did was wrong and I'd take it back a thousand times but he's made up his mind. What has been done was done in his eyes. I can't believe this is happening. Please wake me up from this nightmare. I don't have the energy to post right now, and I don't think I will for a while.

Happy fucking birthday.

Deleted Post

2009-09-26T10:23:00.002-04:00

I really appreciate your support and I'm sorry I deleted it, but it's something I want to forget and move on from. I'm feeling better now.

Can't believe it.

2009-09-25T18:11:00.002-04:00

There will be a post soon, maybe tomorrow since it will take me a long time to write this one. To give you a vague hint, I told Josh something I shouldn't have, and now I think he's a bit freaked out. He's gone for the weekend visiting his brother at his college, so not only am I also freaked about what I told him, but I'm here alone to dwell on it.

Freaking Car

2009-09-19T15:34:00.005-04:00

Friday was a bad day. Work was fine, it was my car. I dropped my car off in the morning at a Firestone to get an emissions test and an oil change. I also told them to inspect the brakes because I had noticed they were squeaking when I braked while backing up. I got a call while at work and the guy said that my front rotors needed replaced, I needed a new tie rod, my rear shocks looked horrible, and the rear drums needed resurfaced (this is what was causing the squeaking). He also wanted me to get new rear tires, but I had to say no because of how much everything was costing me. Yeah, it was a bad day because it all cost over 1,000 dollars!!! That's how much my car is worth! Anyway, I was lucky because I had that much in the bank, but it really really sucks because now I have to wait another month to get my bed. With the conversion my paychecks are coming bi-weekly instead of weekly, so I have to give that some time to get used to before I start spending money again... On the bright side, my car runs much smoother now, and I noticed that the steering wheel sits level when I'm driving now instead of tilted slightly... must have been because they re-aligned my wheels when they changed the tie-rod.

Josh and I played MUA2 again for the night, and he didn't call his gf until 11:30 ish, instead of his scheduled 10PM time.

Today, Saturday, I got up, got a shower, and went to the mall to get some new shoes and clothes to celebrate my conversion.

My Exciting (and crazy) Life

2009-09-16T22:56:00.007-04:00

Saturday, I met Jason in Hartford to spend the afternoon with him... He's the asian guy I met online. I wasn't interested really in meeting him because I thought our AIM conversations were'nt amounting to much, but I did anyway because I couldn't say no. We ate lunch at this random place and I payed for it. I think I'm the kind of person where if I think I make more money than someone else, I'll offer to pay for things.. and with my raise I just assume these things :P

After lunch we walked through the park, the both of us not knowing our way around Hartford at all. We eventually found the Art Museam and toured that. He payed for my ticket before I could offer again, but it was good because he had his old student ID and we got in for student price.

The art museam was both interesting and boring... lol. I love art, but I guess I wasn't interested in realism for the most part, and that is what they specialized in. I'm more of an ancient artifact/statue/architect admirer.

After the museam we walked back to the train station, hugged, and parted. I'm sure you're thinking "Aww, how nice.", but like I said I wasn't really interested in meeting him, so I wasn't inclined to talk much. I kind of felt bad, but I need to be interested to have converastion, but I just wasn't feeling it.

Sunday Josh came by my room and asked if I wanted to walk to the mall with him, so naturally I said yes. We walked across the street to the mall and Josh pre-ordered Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 for the Xbox. We walked around Barnes and Noble for a few minutes and then went back to the apartment. I like to ask Josh if he would like to go out to eat usually every Sunday, and he said sure. We ended up ordering Chinese, and it was really good. I ordered the Orange Chicken.

Monday, Josh and I played some CoD4. Not sure what else I did >.>

Tuesday, Josh and I left work early so that I could do my drug test. Josh dropped me off at the clinic, went to pick up Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, then picked me back up. We had dinner then we played that game for the next 4 hours. It is a great game, especially playing co-op. Josh's character of choice is Gambit, and I've been playing as Wolverine. This is one of Josh's favorite aspects to playing videogames, co-op is. He's a very social person, and I guess it's rubbed off onto me. I can't stand playing any game alone, it's.. well, lonely. It's also part of why I became addicted to FFXI, the "massively muliplayer" online experience.

Today, work was very busy. I was in meetings for most of the day, and I am being given a lot of work.

After work, we had dinner and started playing MUA2 again. We stopped a little early because his gf called.

PS. I get converted the 21st! Only 2 days left making my current salary, then I get an increase Monday :D Can't wait!

Update way past my bed time

2009-09-11T00:48:00.006-04:00

A little update here, lets see if I can remember the week.

We had monday off, and I spent most of it in the apartment just playing Xbox while Josh was driving all day on his way back from visiting his gf. At least I went out and got my haircut.

Tuesday I cannot remember what happend :p I probably just played CoD4 with Josh shortly, then talked online with people. This guy I met on the dating site, we'll dub him Jason, wants to meet me Saturday afternoon for lunch or coffee or something. I'm not really excited about it, but I couldn't say no, so I'll at least try to see if we can make conversation.

Wednesday, Josh and I left work early to get a drug test done for our employee conversion background screening... it's really just a bother. Well, after waiting 45 min the nurse comes by and tells me my drug test pass had expired an hour ago because whoever entered the information into the computer entered it from another time zone, and not eastern >.>... So I don't know what is going to happen with that. Either I'll get a new one, or they'll think i'm avoiding because I'm a druggie... (of course i'm not, but you know that right?).

This was also an upsetting night because Josh decied to hole himself up in his room from about 7:30PM until the end of the night.

Tonight, right after dinner Josh made it a point to come over to my room and ask to play something. i think he felt bad after shutting me out last night, because well it was obvious he did. So we played for some while and then I realized the Steeler game was on, so I watched that. Yay, the Steelers won, but Santonio Holmes is on my opponent's fantasy football team, so booo at the same time.

Weekend to Myself with some Cologne

2009-09-06T21:39:00.006-04:00

Sorry, been a long time since last post.

All this week Josh has been needing to stay late at work to get things done, and he was starting to tick me off because I knew he wanted to leave early on Friday, and it seemed like he was only staying later because of that. I felt like I was being taken advantage of, so I called him out on it Wednesday when he revealed he needed to stay late again. He claimed that was only a side benefit and not the root cause. Well, it seems like he actually is in a large pile of work, so it wasn't entirely his fault. I kind of felt bad, but still I was upset because I was being held to stay later when I didn't have to. That's the downside to carpooling I guess.

Josh signed up to do a "check out" at home for work at 5 AM this morning.

This weekend I have had the apartment to myself. Josh went to see his girlfriend at college for the break. I've been playing CoD4 on the 360... time really flies when you are playing an online game. I can only imagine how bored i'd be without it.

I cleaned up this morning and went to the mall and got a new cologne. I went into the small store after many times passing it and being too nervous to enter. Really, I've just never been in one and I didn't know how you were supposed to browse what scent you wanted. So I went in and I just kind of stood there looking around aimlessly, and the girl who works there asked me if I needed anything. The first thing that came to mind was Guess "Man" because I had tried a sample before and liked it. So I asked for it, then she suggested that I try some other ones, and she brought over a couple of Nautica and she said she preferred them because they smelled more "fresh" and not as musky as Guess. I took her advice and went with Nautica "White Sail", which smells awesome by the way. I'm happy with how that turned out.

Tonight I'll be cleaning up the place since I've been putting it off.

In other good news, I found out that I will be turning employee officially Sept. 21 (or so we hope) and that my salary will be substantially higher than what it is now. I probally shouldn't say how much it is, but it's a good amount. I just keep thinking how lucky I am to be where I'm at and I am very gratefull to be here.

Inglorius Basterds and CPU hardware

2009-08-29T20:59:00.008-04:00

Thursday night, Josh's brother arrived to spend the weekend here. I didn't do too much, just chatted on MSN.

Friday night, the three of us played Smash Bros. Brawl for a while, and then I think I went to my room and was looking at computer hardware parts online. I've decided not to buy a prebuilt computer this time and instead build my own. This way I can get a computer the way i want it and give it potential to be very powerful. Also, I can slowly buy the parts one at a time if I need to. I'm looking at getting

-AMD Phenom 550 quad core 3.2 ghz processor
-MSI 790FX-GD70 motherboard (not sure yet)
-8GB~ DDR3 Ram
-ATI Radion 4890 graphics card with option for crossfire

Big question: Anyone know about building computers? Will this all work efficiently together? Recommend a better graphics card? Crossfire? PSU?

but all of this is quite subject to change as I mull this over the next month or two. I probably should get the bed first afterall, since this will be potentially expensive. I mean, I have to get a 23" HD monitor too, cus with all this power, there is no sense in playing Crysis on max settings on a smaller one.

Today, Saturday, I woke up before Josh and his brother (I think they were up well past 3AM) and I went to Barnes and Noble across the street to look at computer hardware magazines. I also bought a springform pan that I intend to make a cheesecake with. I had a Marble Mocah Mocciato at Starbucks (I asked for an orange mocha, but they didn't have orange...). I came back and Josh and his brother were up, so I asked if they wanted to see Inglorius Basterds, so we went right out since the movie was starting soon. I have to say it was the best movie I've seen this year. Honestly, there were so many points where I was on the edge of my seat with fear or dying of laughter. If a movie can do both of those and keep me engrossed, then it's a damn good movie.

tired.. must.. go.. to.. bed

2009-08-27T01:05:00.005-04:00

It's really late, I should already be in bed. But of course it's been a few days since I've updated so I should post now I think...

I've generally been in a good mood this week, even though like two days ago I felt the cold shoulder from Josh as he played an online computer game with his brother from the moment we got home from work until bed. I know it's just me being mental. We've been playing xbox for a few hours here and there, not too much at all.

Last night I reactivated my mule Final Fantasy 11 account. I'm finding i'm going through withdrawal in anticipation for Final Fantasy 14, so this will hold me over until then at least. Anyway, this will be able to entertain me on nights that I need something fun to do to save my sanity.

other than work and that last tidbit, not much else has happened. I messaged someone on Okcupid who had been visiting my profile, and I got a positive response, and now i'm waiting on the 2nd response. Hopefully that goes well. I'll of course give more info about him if it goes further, I don't see a point going into it now.

Josh's new bed came today. I honestly think he paid too much for it and I think he could have found another bed like it for cheaper if he looked harder. I found one much similar that I'm going to get in a few weeks that is about $900 after shipping, which is ~400 or so dollars cheaper. I have the money now, I just want to have a cushin after I spend it. After I get the bed my new focus will be a gaming PC most likely from newegg.com. I'd like to be able to run FFxi well on it as well as any game Josh wants to play as well as FFxiv when that comes out.

Weekend

2009-08-23T22:07:00.004-04:00

We stayed in for the weekend again. Friday night we had a friend from work come over and we talked a lot and played Super Smash Bro. Brawl on Josh's Wii. It was nice to socialize with someone other than Josh.

Saturday Josh and I did some grocery shopping and we turned in our empty cans to get our deposit back. Was bored otherwise during the day but Josh came by later that night and asked if I wanted to play a game, so we played Rainbow Six Vegas 2, which was pretty fun considering we weren't playing online. Also, I have noticed that Josh is saying "Fuck" and "Shit" a lot more now in his every day vocabulary. Before like last week he would say them rarely and would often say "Frick."

Sunday, not much happened. I got up after noon and went out to buy ingredients to make the weekly dessert. This time I went out without any idea of what I wanted to make. I ended up getting this frozen brownie dessert that was on sale and some vanilla ice cream. Next weekend I'm going to be more adventurous and make a chocolate chip cheesecake.

Josh's brother is visiting next weekend, so I suggested to Josh that we go on a road trip somewhere, like maybe Maine or something and find some kind of local attraction there. I did some research for any spooky places in CT and I found a place called "Little People Village" which is some guy's house in the woods somewhere surrounded by little houses the guy built for the voices in his head... Sounds interesting but it's also pretty far away. Does anyone in New England have any suggestions of where we should go next weekend?

A Tragic Dream

2009-08-21T18:28:00.007-04:00

Last night I was bored out of my mind. I was starting to get worried though, since I was feeling a strong bought of depression coming on, one that I hadn't experienced since close to 4 years ago when one of my friends died. This time it was because I was feeling alone. But don't worry, I'm stronger than most in the same situation, and I promise I will seek help before I even think of anything stupid.

I had a dream last night too, and I didn't even remember that i had a dream until mid-day at work it just flashed in my memory, so I quickly wrote it down and hid the paper in my pocket. The dream was very nice, yet dark and tragic. This is what I could remember:

A kid, maybe 16 years old contacted me because he really liked me. I can't remember how he found me or contacted me, but I might guess facebook. He had a very boyish face, and medium-long brown hair. He seemed like he came from the lower to middle class, from the way he dressed, but honestly I can't remember that much detail. Later, he randomly finds me at a gathering, maybe it was a party. The entire dream took place at night, so it was naturally dark. The place we met was damp and wooden, almost like it was on a gigantic old-fashioned ship or a large, dark, wooden house overlooking a body of water. I was very happy to see him.

The next day though, I find him dead. I was at the bottom of the body of water, and I found a body, and I pulled it closer and I saw his face and the skin on his stomach was gone, and I couldn't take it. I let go quickly. I was devastated.

I find out in the dream, that he was killed because a group, maybe a government agency I don't know, thought that he was carrying a child in him, so that is why the skin on his stomach was missing.

Here is my analysis of the dream:

- I kind of doubt it, but the group that killed him might happened because of District 9. Kind of spoiler, but not really: the main character is hunted because unnatural things are happening to him, and so his body is very valuable.

- The fact that he contacted me like that might have happened because I have been thinking about and communicating on a dating site.

- He was younger because I have a tendency to want to be a role-model to people.

- I think he tragically died in the end because he resembles all of my friends that I have met in life, have either moved away from me, or I left behind when I moved here. Also, because I was feeling lonely and depressed that night.

- The fact that they thought he was bearing a child: might have to do with me thinking about gay relationships and that they can never have a child like a straight couple can.

I love dreams, the good, and the tragic.

Update

2009-08-19T20:02:00.003-04:00

Monday night I started playing RE5 and went over to Josh's room to ask if he wanted to join, and he did, so we had fun with that for the night.

Tuesday was a bit more boring. Josh is pretty close to his brother, so he likes to play computer games with him online. I ended up jogging for almost 20 min. I had been slacking with that and couldn't do my usual 20 as a result, but I'll probably make it tonight. After jogging I was on MSN for a while and I updated my Okcupid profile with more pics and text. Got a message from someone too and I've wrote two messages myself... we'll see where that goes.

Tonight Josh is playing with his bro again so I'm contemplating what I'll do. Writing in this blog was on the list, lol. I'll probably run soon and get on later.

This past week I've been working at my mentor's desk since he's on vacation and his desk is in the room where my Web IT team is. So it's definitely nice to hear what is going on there during the day. They are currently working a way to get me in the room, once they find the space for me.

District 9

2009-08-17T00:53:00.003-04:00

Last night Josh came by my room and wanted to play Xbox, so we played Resident Evil 5 mercenaries until 3 AM. I was just happy that my night wasn't shot, since i was so bored.

This morning i got up late, like noonish, but not as bad as Josh, who got up at 2:20 after I knocked on his door. We had planned on seeing District 9 at 2:40 so I didn't want to miss it. He quickly got ready and put on his 30 Seconds to Mars shirt and we headed out. The movie was interesting, I liked it. It had some unbelievable parts to it, but I was willing to accept them. Overall a unique movie... OK, i'm not exactly a good movie critic, but I'm trying.

After the movie we came back and I made dinner. After that we played some more RE5 mercenaries until his gf called at 10... but he came back and we played for about 30 more and we called it a night, afterall we have to get up for work in the morning. I'll be interested to see how Josh does with that.

Slow Weekend

2009-08-15T21:30:00.000-04:00

Friday night Josh and I started to play Left 4 Dead, but we stopped early 'cause his brother got a new computer and he wanted to play a game with him. I was pretty bored as a result.

I've been planning on getting a PS3 soon, especially since i'm convinced Sony will lower the price before christmas, but I might wait an extra month or two if I decide to get a real bed first. It's a tough decision and if I were in college I'd go with the PS3 first, but bob had a good point that if I were to have someone over again it would be nice to actually have a real bed. So I did some looking online and found a mattress and box spring and basic frame for about $800, which I should have by next week, or the week after at the latest.

Today was another blah day. Josh didn't wake up until after 1 PM and when he did wake up he really wasn't in the mood to do anything. He had slept on his shoulder wrong somehow and it was bothering him. He's been playing with his brother though since 4.

I was bored so I decided to make a dessert, which I've noticed I've done for the past 3 weeks. Last week I made a pumpkin pie cake. Tonight I felt like a pudding dessert so I made a big bowl of chocolate Oreo "Dirt." That'll be nice and ready within the hour.

Work and Play

2009-08-13T23:54:00.000-04:00

Last night and tonight Josh and I played Xbox 360 for the entire night. Had to stop at 10 last night because of his gf call, but tonight we played until close to midnight cause his gf needed rest before she travels to Texas for some sorority event. Sooo I'm sorry, I can't talk on MSN tonight since I have work in the morning.

Yesterday we had a company picnic during the day so I got to get out of work a few hours early. Today Jim, our Web IT manager, came by and told me my paperwork was in to convert me to employee, so I will officially become an employee very soon. Sooo happy. Not much happened the past two days since it was basically just solid work and video games.

Short post so I'll finish with 5 potentially interesting facts or thoughts.

1. Sometimes I feel like being gay is a superpower, and I'm at a level of awareness above others who are 'straight.'
2. Josh and I shared the pinapple soda I bought a while ago tonight. Eh, I wouldn't buy it again.
3. Thinking of 5 facts or thoughts is harder than you'd think.
4. I'm mostly German, with small amounts of Italian and trace amounts of Irish. I'm trying to trace my heritage before the remainder of my grandparents pass away.
5. I didn't run at all this week. Keeping up with that takes time and discipline I might not have right now.

OH, EDIT: On the way home from work yesterday I asked Josh if he had any questions about last Thursday. He said no, but he made some random comment about how he thought Zen recently moved to the area. I take it he knows and the subject will lay to rest for now. I'm still glad i asked though, since I'm showing that I'm willing to be up front about it.

Video Games with Josh

2009-08-11T22:25:00.000-04:00

Sunday I don't think I did much until I asked Josh if he wanted to continue Resident Evil 5, which we did and finished. We played some Mario Kart on his Wii earlier, but that was pretty much the entire night.

Monday after work I was pretty much bored all night. Zen IM'd me for like 5 min before he went to bed and then I did some MSN :)

Today while eating dinner I asked Josh if he had any other good co-op games for the 360, so I went through his collection and picked out Warrior's Orochi 2 again, and we played that in my room all night, or about 4 hrs. We had to stop so he could make his daily gf call...

While we were playing someone knocked on our door. I get up and Josh asks me if I'm 'expecting company' HAHA. It was just someone looking for a package delivered to the wrong apartment.

Weekend - GF = much better.

2009-08-08T21:28:00.001-04:00

Friday morning, I woke up 15 minutes after I normally leave for work since I forgot to set my alarm. I guess I had other things on my mind :X Funny thing is, when I was making my lunch for the day I heard Josh in his room, which meant he hadn't left yet either. The previous day I told him we'd be driving separately because Zen had originally planned to stay the night, but I ended up taking him back before bed. So Josh and I ended up driving together after all. Josh hasn't said anything about that night yet, but I think he wanted to during the drive to work, or he will soon or eventually.

Late Friday night Josh started to do his laundry (which is weird for a Friday) but I think he wanted to pass my room on the way out to see what I was doing. His Xbox 360 has the 3 rings of death right now so he's waiting to get that repaired, so he comes back from starting his laundry and asks me if I'd like to play an Xbox game together, any game he didn't care which. So I picked out Resident Evil 5 and we played for about 4 hours until after 3 in the AM. He left his stuff in my room so we're probably going to finish it tonight.

I got up really late in the afternoon this morning since I stayed up late last night. Last night, thinking of ways to spend more time with Josh, I suggested we go see the G.I. Joe movie today, so that's what we just got back from. After I got up though, I suggested to Josh that we go out to eat somewhere too, so we went out to a country buffet type place which wasn't that good for the price they charged us. Both of us noticed a lot of chinese people there and we thought it was funny that they were eating at an American country buffet while there were probably mostly Americans eating at a Chinese buffet somewhere. So I managed to spend plenty of time with Josh today, with more to come tonight probably. If he doesn't say anything about Zen, then I'm sure it'll come up the next time he's over.

Oh, and sorry, I wanted to be on MSN last night but I was of course playing Resident Evil 5 with Josh.

P.S. Do not for the love of god go see G.I. Joe, it was absolutely trash.

Date

2009-08-03T00:49:00.000-04:00

I really should be going to bed, but I wanted to make a post tonight. Today I went shopping all over the place and got a new raised queen sized air mattress, an expensive form-molding top and a new comforter/bed set as well as thermapuedic(sp?) pillows. My bed really does look sweet now and you can't really even tell it's an air mattress. I'm actually looking forward to sleeping tonight.

So, it turns out I have a date on Thursday. We both want to take things kind of slowly so we are going to a nice place that serves tea to chat. He's a few years younger than me, Asian or Asian mixed, and shorter. He's a college student on break for the summer, but that's about all I know at the moment. I'll definitely post to let you know how things turn out.

nite

Can't wait for this weekend to end.

2009-08-01T21:49:00.000-04:00

Not much today. Josh and his gf went to the beach in RI for the day. To stay slightly sane I showered and went to walmart to get supplies to clean my bathroom... it was getting messy. I played Xbox 360 for the rest of the day.

I sleep on a queen sized air-mattress because when I moved here, I only took what I could fit in my car. Well, I think there must be a small hole in it somewhere because I've filled it twice today and it seems to be losing pressure. Can't afford a real bed right now so I might have to get a new one until then. I don't like the one I have now anyway, it has a weird raised pillow area attached to it that makes it awkward sleeping on.

Taking the advice of a certain someone I created a profile on Okcupid.com... If you are persistent enough you could probably find me on it. I had someone randomly send me an IM on the site but I didn't reply... he lived in Mass, was 27, and taller than me, all 3 of which I'm not too keen on.

Delusional

2009-07-31T22:38:00.002-04:00

Josh's gf is up for the weekend... bleh. I guess that makes me the third wheel and just another reminder of how lonely I am. The good news is she won't be up for a while after this because she'll be starting school at the end of August.

I made chili for the three of us and spent the night playing CoD4, although I'm not having any fun with it with a raincloud over me.

Last night after I went to bed my phone buzzed. I checked it and it said 'Message 1 sent.' I was confused so I checked to see what my phone decided to send on its own and it was a text I tried to send to Josh last Thursday while I was in line at the DMV, but since I didn't have reception, it stored it to try again later. It said 'Longest line everrr.' and Josh replied last night 'For??' and I just returned it with laughter at how retarded my phone was for doing that.

I think I'll take a hot bubble bath for something to do and I might be on MSN in an hour or so.

Here are 5 questionably interesting facts or thoughts:

- I'm taking the weekend off from running.
- My favorite soft drink has been root beer for quite a long time.
- It's been raining and gloomy all day... hell, half of summer.
- I bought a bottle of ginger beer and pinapple soda two nights ago and have yet to try them.
- My black and white Puma's were getting worn down and dirty so I went to the shoe store and bought the same exact pair. I honestly couldn't find a pair I liked better than them.

Sushi

2009-07-30T18:49:00.002-04:00

The last two days after dinner Josh and I have been playing an Xbox 360 game called Warriors Orochi 2, which is a based off of the Dynasty and Samarai warrior games. You are basically a general of an ancient Chinese army and you kill waves and waves of people in battle. Josh had this passive assertive way of wanting me to play it with him (is passive assertive a term? or do they cancel out..). Instead of starting up CoD4 right away he started up that game and I could tell from my Xbox Live dashboard, so I went over to see what he was doing and he had me join him. He was playing that game with his gf when she was up. It's fun.

I've started to try to run every day now in the small fitness room in our apartment complex. I do about 20 min of jogging at 5 mph at a 2-4% grade up hill on the treadmill. Eventually I will up the numbers but since it's been forever since I've exercised, I'm going to ease into it. Last night I tried doing 6 mph at 3-6% grade and I only made it 14.5 min before I just couldn't go anymore. My goal is not to lose weight since I'm already thin - I'm trying to work on cardio I suppose so that I can just be healthy.

Josh is at his boss's house now for an after work barbeque for his 'production support team'. I just made hot dogs and am pretty grossed now that I realized I bought pork/turky/beef dogs instead of my preferred 100% beef.

I went out recently to the mall across the street and bought a ton of white ankle socks in keeping with my theme of wearing brighter clothes. If you read my first post you'll know that I only owned black ankle socks up until now. I got lucky and found some sweet white Puma ankle socks to go with my white/black Puma sneakers :p

Today for lunch we went to a sushi place. It was the first time I've eaten sushi; it was good! I had a spicy tuna roll and a snow crab roll. I was surprised at how filling they are.

The east coast: you will get wet.

2009-07-27T22:32:00.000-04:00

When Josh was on his way home to our apartment Sunday he texted me "Tornado Warning?" and ended the text with "-Josh-", which is the second time he's done that and I think it's cute. Apparently their was a tornado warning about 30 min away from us and he heard it on the radio when he was getting close to home.

He was indeed surprised at my CoD4 rank and we played that for a little bit that night.

Today towards the end of work I saw a severe thunderstorm warning on weather.com and it immediately started to pour and storm. Josh and I ran to my car as we got drenched.

We played some more CoD4 after I made dinner - Chicken dumplings made from canned soup and biscuits. CoD4 after dinner has become part of our daily work-week routine. We get up, go to work, get home, make dinner right away, play CoD4, then pretty much chill in our separate rooms. We don't have a TV yet for the livingroom so we just kind of go our ways.

In my first post I mentioned that I wanted to do 5 fun facts/thoughts at the end of every post. Well, I'm not sure if I want to pick that up because 5 fun facts every few days adds up quick and I don't want to run out of them. What I've done when I wrote a journal on paper a few times is write "what I am currently thinking" to give an idea of not only the events that took place in my past, but the kind of personality and character I had at the time.

Anyway here are 5 not necessarily fun facts or thoughts.
- I went grocery shopping Saturday and bought enough dinner foods to last us 2 weeks.
- I bought my first yellow t-shirt Saturday.
- Today is my mother's birthday.
- I am currently doing laundry and I just jogged for 20 min straight on the treadmill.
- Josh is a full blooded Native American.

DMV Woes

2009-07-25T23:09:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't been updating this week, I really didn't have much energy. Work isn't stressful (yet) so maybe it's just my mood, idk. This past week I took your advice and made blueberry jam. I only made six half-pints and planned to do more today, but the blueberries are starting to shrivel and I don't think It'd be a good idea to use them for that. We've only used about half of them, but I plan on using some more to make another pie, since I don't think the firmness of the berries will matter.

On Thursday Josh and I went to the DMV again, this time for his vehicle plates and for my driver's license. We got there after work and I stood in the slowest line of my life; I was in it for over an hour. When I finally get to the front of the line they ask me for all of my paper work including my birth certificate, my old liscense, and a form I filled out, and then they ask me for a piece of mail that can verify that I have indeed moved... which of course I didn't have with me, so I wasted all that time for nothing. I felt the kind of shock which happens when something really bad happens but your mind can't register how bad it is, so you can do nothing but walk away with a blank look on your face. Josh was waiting in the car and I just got in and laughed.

Josh had to go home for a family wedding this weekend, so I've had the apartment to myself. I haven't done much, well, I've been enthralled in Call of Duty 4, which I'm getting much better at and is passing the time rather quickly. I got about 10 levels since Thursday and I'll get a few tomorrow, so I'm waiting to see how surprised Josh will be.

Oh, I did go to the DMV this morning because I was determined to get my liscense. They opened at 8AM so I arrived at 7:50 because I thought I'd be one of the first in line, but nooo, that's apparently what everyone else thinks so there was a line from the DMV door up until the end of the parking lot, not even kidding. I still spent over two hours there, but I did get the liscense and I am really happy with my picture.

No transistion, sorry lol I'm just emptying my head. At work Friday Jim, our Web IT director and person in charge of hiring/firing people told me he wants to convert me and Josh into employees very soon, which is 4.5 months sooner than I expected. Now to explain since you are probably wondering how I'm not an employee if I am working there. My official title is 'contractor' or 'consultant' because they have a contract with a hiring agency and had to hire me through them. So technically I work for the contracting agency and I am sent to work for whoever wants my services, which is how a lot of the work gets outsourced. But in reality they did a loophole and interviewed me without going through the agency because they want to hire young people who will stay with the company and effectively lower their depedency on outsourced work. It's confusing I know and stupid, yes. I'm not even sure if I understand it fully, but I'm just happy that he wants to see if he can get me converted soon as it would eliminate any worries I have about them not wanting to convert me in 4.5 months. And as a bonus, when I do get converted my salary will go up a nice chunk, so that's another reason a conversion this soon is very good news.

I'm getting tired as I had to get up early for the DMV, so I'm about to take a bubble bath (yeah, I'm babying myself lol) and go to bed. Sorry I haven't been on MSN lately, again I've been drained of energy and I think it's me being depressed but I'm working on it.

More blueberries

2009-07-20T22:55:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post today. At work I've actually been given an assignment and now they're keeping me busy. I'm excited because if I can do this well it'll put me on the path to getting big bucks soon, since the profession I'm doing (complex computer programming) doesn't come easy to many people.

Today for lunch Josh and a bunch of coworkers and I went to a Mediterranean place. I was being my eccentric self and ordered a dessert for lunch called Baklava I think.

I packed a bag of blueberries to snack on during the day and I actually started to get sick of them! They were giving me a tummy ache, I was sad. Nonetheless I refused to stop eating them.

So if you haven't gotten the hint that I enjoy to cook, check this out: I made steak and baked sweet potatoes for dinner. It wasn't hard actually, I just put the steak on our George Forman for 5 min and voila! Cooked steak. After, I made a blueberry pound cake with blueberry sauce and Josh made a batch of blueberry muffins for breakfasts. I took a picture of the result! I really don't know how I'm gonna eat all this, I'm making dishes faster than I can eat them.

And what's remaining of our bottomless pit of blueberries:

Well I've gotta get up real early tomorrow since Josh has an early meeting and we carpool, so goodnight! That wasn't as quick a post as I thought it would be.

Blueberries

2009-07-19T22:11:00.000-04:00

On Friday Josh's girlfriend flew over to visit for the weekend. She is a very lucky girl. I didn't do much until today when we all went blueberry picking at a local farm. We ended up picking 20 lbs of blueberries, LMAO! When we got back I made a blueberry pie and I got some ingredients to make other blueberry recipes such as blueberry cake and Josh wants blueberry muffins. In the morning I think I'll make a blueberry breakfast smoothie. I don't think It'll be hard to use them all up, I think I must have eaten a pound or two already HAHA.

Josh came back from dropping his gf off at the airport and we played CoD4 for awhile and now I'm doing a load of laundry at the moment.

I was looking at Josh's myspace a minute ago and I came across his brother's memorial page again. His older brother by one year died the year before Josh went to college. Seeing that site and thinking of the pain Josh must have went through made me very sad again. I say again because sometimes I can get very emotional and often in a bad way, i.e. I get filled with grief. Lately I've been trying to avoid this by just being happy, even just by trying to wear bright colors. When I went shopping Thursday I bought a yellow polo and I realized then that it was the only piece of yellow clothing I owned and now I want to get some more. Just wearing that yellow polo made me feel happier and more confident; I was projecting instead of absorbing, literally. Sorry for the ramble, but I want to write this down for the sake of this being a journal.

Goodnight

Dinner and a movie

2009-07-16T21:20:00.000-04:00

Let's see... Tuesday night Josh and I played CoD4 all night. Yesterday was the big opening night of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I must say that film was beautifully done, I would absolutely see it again. and again. Although I think they over did it on the teen romance theme. Josh of course is left in the dark now since he didn't read the books, so he's got the classic theory that Dumbledore might have a Horcrux. I told him he should read the 7th book and he said he just might, but we'll see.

Today we had dinner with a group of our younger co-workers at a Thai place. I had this luxurious pineapple shrimp dish with pineapple sauce served in literally the half shell of a pineapple. It was good but probably a bit too much for the price. After I went to the mall across the street and got my hair cut and bought some nice clothes. It's nice not having a family or girlfriend :) A boyfriend on the other hand...

There's a massive thunderstorm out now and it's raining buckets. I got soaked just running from my car to the apartment.

Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking.

2009-07-13T22:09:00.000-04:00

Our friend didn't call back Sat night, but this morning at work he apologized that he had lost his phone charger. I wasn't disappointed 'cause Josh and I continued to play Armored Core the rest of the night.

Sunday we ordered Chinese for the first time (also my first time getting Chinese delivered). It was good, but I ordered much more than I could eat.

A little later we watched the 5th Harry Potter. I liked it, but I realized it wasn't as good as the last two, probably because nothing much actually happens in the book 'til the end. Now the 6th one is coming up on Wednesday and I've heard good things so I'll continue to keep my hopes up. I read today that the 7th movie is in production and is being split into two movies! It makes sense though, that book is packed with important events that can't be cut out.

Not much happened today. At work I did absolutely nothing but just surf the web. My 'supervisor' is on vacation this week and left me to two other senior employees, but they didn't give me any work. I would have actually rather had some work so I would have felt like I was doing something, but I'm not about to complain about it, it's their loss. Did laundry when I came home, Josh made chicken for dinner, sorry, not much happened :)

Oh, and Josh's girlfriend is coming up this weekend. I'm not looking forward to it for obvious reasons, but I'm going to see if they want to go blueberry picking. I want to be eating handfulls of blueberries every day for the rest of the summer!

Health and Armored Suits

2009-07-11T14:05:00.000-04:00

At work on Friday I was looking at news headlines and came across this one. I have had the intuition that the less calories our bodies process, the less of a toll our bodies would take over time, and now here there is research that is showing impressive results. It really makes me consider the food that I am eating.

After work Josh and I went to Gamestop and we each bought a copy of Armored Core: For Answer for the 360, a game that revolves around building and customizing a type of "mech" or armored suit and fighting with it. We had a lot of fun plowing our way through the difficult missions and we should be at a point where we can battle each other soon.

I also went to the Eastern Mountain Store and picked up a stainless steel water bottle by "klean kanteen". Gotta avoid harmful plastic chemicals!

I went to bed well after 4 AM and my biological clock got me up at 9:30 AM this morning :/ So I got up, got a shower, and went to Walmart to buy a desk and chair for my computer (yes, I've been sitting on the floor with my desktop haha). I also bought a plastic tree for my room, making it more cozy. I eventually want to have stringed lantern type lights going around the entire ceiling edge of my room and get more plants, etc. (real ones too).

A friend from work wants Josh and me to hang out with him tonight, so we are probly going to play cards and drink at his house.

-Love

Death Row

2009-07-09T23:08:00.000-04:00

Yesterday after work Josh and I played CoD4 most of the night. Afterwards i went to check on my Final Fantasy account and couldn't log in; I got a message saying LM-17 YOU ARE BANNED!!! So I called Square Enix today and they tell me I was banned for real money trading, which isn't true. They filed a complaint for me and now all I can do is wait to see if I get the ban lifted. I can't believe how dimwitted their "Special Task Force" (what they call their RMT hunters) are for this atrocious display of customer service. I've been playing for 3 years now and put in countless hours and I get wrongfully committed. Kind of like getting put on death row and being innocent. Well, not that harsh, but i'm sure you can see the similarities. I guess this is a good point to quit, since I've been thinking about it; I just didn't want to go out like this.

Today after work I took Josh to the DMV to get his CT drivers license. I would have but I couldn't find my identification. It was so busy we had to wait 2 and a half hours, which almost shot the night.

We came back and watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in my room. God that movie is good. The end makes my eyes water every time. Josh liked it a lot and now we'll have to watch the 5th one this weekend. I purchased reserved seats for the 6th movie already for next week. Surprisingly a lot of the seats were already taken a week in advance, so I'm glad I got good ones while I could. It'll be my first time in the director's hall, which from what I've heard is very nice.

My call of duty.

2009-07-07T21:06:00.000-04:00

My TV in my room :P

Not too much happens during the work week because well, I'm at work most of the day. Yesterday went out and bought Call of Duty 4 for the Xbox 360. It's the first game i've bought since the midnight release of Halo 3, haha. I've just been playing Final Fantasy XI so much that I didn't have time for other games, and now that FFXIV has been announced, I've pretty much lost any interest I had in FFXI. It'll be hard to get used to playing a FPS with a controller since I'm used to playing Battlefield 2 for the PC, but I'll get used to it. One of the reasons I bought it was because Josh also has it for his XBox and the past 2 nights we've been playing together and he's been teaching me the basics. I'll be very happy when Battlefield 3 comes out, but that wont be for quite some time.

On another note, I mentioned a pride bracelet a few posts back. I bought a silk friendship bracelet with the 6 colors of the flag and it is really sweet looking. It's nice because since it's silk, its very thin for a six color bracelet plus it's woven nicely.

The reason why I brought it up is because I want to start wearing it, maybe with one or two other non-pride bracelets. I won't do it at work, at least not for awhile, but I'm just afraid that I might get weird looks in public or worse. I suppose weird looks I can deal with, but I don't want to get beaten up when I turn into a back alley or something :p Oh the dilemma.

edit: Quick thank you to AgentK for posting, that meant a lot!
edit2: Thank you everyone else. I'm happy to become a part of the 'blogoshpere' :p

Azkaban

2009-07-05T22:56:00.000-04:00

Spent the 4th with Josh's family since they are here. We attempted to go look at the many shops around, but ironically they closed early for the holiday. We did get to see a pretty nice fireworks show though. Later that night I had a good time playing Lord of the Rings Conquest with Josh and his brother well until after 3 a.m.

This morning his family headed back home. I did some grocery shopping and started browsing slip covers for the couches we just got. The ones I found cost more than the couches did themselves, lol, so I'm going to look on ebay or something when I get around to it.

I told Josh I'd make him come with me to see Harry Potter 6 when it comes out. He had only seen the first 2 movies, so now I am catching him up with 3, 4, and 5. I'm happy that he is willing to watch them with me even though I'm not sure if he wanted to at first. We watched The Prizoner of Azkaban tonight, one of my favs. (Ok, they all are, lol). He followed along very well and was making astute observations of foreshadowing. The sixth movie is going to be awesome, it's just the story is so sad... I really do like the story, I've read all 7 of the books. I don't even consider it a kids story anymore, the way the books get so dark in the end.

Thinking of trying to go to bed early so I can get up early and maybe do some running. That'll get the blood flowing so maybe I'll be a bit more alive during the day at work.

nite

Public Enemies

2009-07-03T23:55:00.001-04:00

This afternoon we all went to the theater to see Public Enemies, a film with Johnnie Depp and Christian Bale about the life of a bank robber. I think it's a true story. I liked the film very much, the way it was shot was kind of unique. It was almost like it was filmed on home camera, yet without the crappy quality of a home camera.

We got back and I made dinner since I wanted to show off to Josh's mom. I made baked chicken, rice, and stir-fried fresh snow peas. I always take offense when people joke that since we are two guys, we must only know how to make simple easy-to-make foods, so that's why I wanted to make a decent home-cooked meal. That and it tastes good :p

It's getting late and I'm just hanging out on FFXI killing time. I'll probly get to bed soon. Later.

thunderstorm

2009-07-03T00:19:00.000-04:00

There was a huge thunderstorm in the middle of the night last night, woke me up. It was probably the biggest one I've heard in quite a long time. I commented about it to Josh on the way to work today and he said he didn't even know there was one! Haha, I don't know how he slept right through it. It also rained so much, I was afraid there was gonna be a flood.

Got out of work real early because of the long 4th of July weekend. Too bad I don't get paid holidays yet :( Went to the DMV to get a CT liscence but they closed early too...

I saw an ad a resident put up in the laundry room for a couch and a matching love seat last night. The add said ~$150 for both but when we showed up to look at them he offered to give them to us for $75! What a steal, and now we have furniture for the apartment! Although carrying the couches a quarter mile to our apartment was a bitch, lol. I couldn't pick up a pillow when we were done, no joke.

Josh's mom and brother are here for the holiday weekend. We ordered pizza for the first time since we moved in and now they're playing Ghostbusters on the Wii in his room while I'm playing Final Fantasy XI on my Xbox in my room. Doing BCNM's at the moment.

The real world

2009-07-01T00:08:00.001-04:00

How do I begin? I'm not going to give all of the details of my life in the first post, so maybe I'll try to incorporate them in future posts. I'll start by telling you about the past month. I intend not to reveal my true identity, so that I may tell even my darkest secrets, although those will have to wait.

On June 1st I started my first job. I just graduated in May and if you are familiar with the U.S. economy, I am very fortunate to have it. I'll be doing web programming and database queries and more. I'm still learning about my job and it'll be a long time before I actually will know what I need to know.

I lived in PA all my life and now with this new job I am living in CT. Essentially I left my friends and family to live in CT with one of my fraternity brothers, who also landed a job at the same company as me. We currently share an apartment, although I fear one day, maybe after the year is up, that he will want to move out and live with his girlfriend who will be out of college then. My bigger fear is that he is trying to find another job so that he can live closer to his girlfriend instead of her coming out here. That would mean the closest person I am to in CT would be gone, and I would be lonely.

This past weekend I got the cartilage of my left ear pierced. I had gotten my earlobes pierced 2 almost 3 years ago, but they closed within the first year I had them. Honestly, I'm not sure why I got it. It wasn't spontaneous; I've been thinking about it for well over a year. It does look cool though, and I think it reveals a part of my personality that I can make decisions without fear.

Let me finish off each post with 5 fun facts or thoughts.
1. I have a younger brother and a younger sister.
2. Two days ago I paid $200 for a pair of Ray Ban's (they're sooo nice).
3. Other than dress socks, I only own black socks that come up to below my ankle. (I have many many pairs).
4. I love The Smashing Pumpkins, 30 Seconds to Mars, and many other bands.

~S